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Sunday, May 1st, 2005
10:26 pm - ring ring ring.....
my brother rang me yesturday morning, well i say morning but it was actually 1pm. Anyway, he said "alright sis, you'll never guess where i am?!" hmmm at this point he started to giggle as joe and chris were laughing and trying to say hello to me. so i asked him where he was. i turned out that he was on top a large hill in scotland. i asked him if he was stoned... nah he said we've just done some mushrooms. "jen you should so be here!" he said, "you can fucking see for miles!" chris w was there too only he was in his own little world heheh.

grrrr, i soo wanna 'shroom again! :o(

current mood: annoyed

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Tuesday, April 26th, 2005
7:34 pm - just 'cause you feel it, doesn't mean its there
grrr, my head hurts and my tummy hurts.... i just feel like i right mess at the moment.

on the plus side i gots myself a free bar of thorntons toffee chocolate... tis tres yummy, i just what my tummy needs me thinks.

I've been listening to alot of radiohead lately, i dont really know if this has any sort of significance on me or this post it just felt worthwhile to mention. then again i could talk about radiohead for quite along time. I was considering getting the radiohead minotaur as a tattoo... maybe ... maybe not...

my head hurts.

current mood: sleepy

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Thursday, April 21st, 2005
2:59 am - its either you or me
gem reminded me about how i have deserted this place, but dunno if i can muster up the energy to write about myself.

im gonna go and try get some sleep so that i can attempt to go into uni tommorrow....

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Tuesday, June 29th, 2004
2:05 pm
1. What time is it? 14:05
2. Name as it appears on birth certificate: Jenna Louise Smith
3. Nicknames: jen, jen jen, rainbow girl
4. Number of candles on your last birthday cake: 19
5. Pets: only ozzy(2 yr old black kitty) at the momment
6. Hair colour: always changing but just simply dark brown at the mo
7. Piercing: none
7a: Tattoos: 2, a spiderweb on my right shoulder and a black cat and stars on my lower back
8. Eye colour: blue/grey
9. Hometown: Leeds
10. Town you live in: kirkstall (home) middlesbrough (uni)
11. Favourite foods: pizza, pasta, chinese, chocolate, rolo muffins...
12. Ever been to Africa: no, but i would love to go to kenya
13. Been toilet papering: no
14. Ever loved someone so much it made you cry: maybe
15. Been in a car accident? no, been in a coach accident tho
16. Croutons or bacon bits? erm bacon bits, if i have to choose
17. Favourite day of the week? thursdays, rock night at uni
18. Favourite restaraunt? banana leaf (middlesbrough)
19. Favourite flower: iris', cylamen, orchids
20. Favourite sport to watch: italian football
21. Favourite non-alcoholic drink: citrus oasis, orange capri-sonnes and citrus five alive.
21b. Favourite alcoholic drink: chocolate vodka mudshakes, apple vk, apple sours..
22. Favourite ice cream flavour: hazelnut
23. Disney or Warner Bros: PIXAR
24. Favourite fast food restaurant: pizza hut
25. What colour is your bedroom carpet? green(home)
26. How many times did you fail your driver's test? i haven't
taken it
28. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? music - hmv, clothes - kinda magik or h&m maybe?
29. What do you do most often when you are bored? listen to music, read, surf t'net, pester people, watch tv
30. Most annoying thing: hypocrites, not being able to control the way i feel sometimes
31. Bedtime: sometime after 1 usually but i dont sleep until much later
32. Who will respond to this email the quickest? no one because this isn't an email anymore!
33. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? dunno, cant be bothered thinking of a suitable response to that question...
34. Favourite TV shows? hollyoaks (i'm addicted) and this years big brother(hangs head in shame)
35. Last person you went out to dinner with: Gemma and Kate at a restaurant in Mallorca
36. What are you listening to right now? Scuzz on tv which is currently doing an interview type thing with casey chaos from amen.
37. How do you take your coffee? i dont, but i love the smell
38. Morning or Nighttime person? definately a night time person.
39. Where do you plan to vacation next: italy with family to visit new house.
40. Do you wish on stars? sometimes, but half-heartedly
41. Which finger is your favourite? erm, none
42. When did you last cry? last night, i was fed up coz i was so tired but couldn't sleep
43. Do you like your handwriting? no, its terrible
44. What is your favourite lunch meat? chicken, definately chicken
45. Any bad habits? lots, biting nails, saying 'what?' alot, heavy drinking, smoking too much weed, taking mushrooms...
46. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf? i dont think i have any embarrassing ones
47. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with u? depends what kind of person i was.
48. Are you a daredevil? sometimes
49. Do looks matter? yes, but they dont count for much on their own.
50. How do you release anger? jumping around to heavy metal music, i dont really handle anger very well, it usually makes me feel apathetic
51. Where is your second home? middlesbrough
52. Do you trust others easily? i tend not to trust people, just try to play along with them...
53. What was your favourite toy as a child? barbies, toy cars
54. What class in school do you think is totally useless? RE, it was more like preaching not educating.
55. Do you have a journal? err, i have this..
56. Do you use sarcasm a lot? yes, lifes abit of a joke...
57. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? many many many times :o)
58. Would you bungee jump? Nah, it looks like you're about to dislocate your legs, sky-diving would be fun tho
59. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?not usually but i have to untie my dr martins
60. Do you think that you are strong willed? about certain things yes
61. Shoe Size? 4-5
62. What are your favourite colours? pink, black
63. What is your least favourite thing? humans
64. How many wisdom teeth do you have? none - i must not be very wise?
65. How many people have a crush on you right now? dunno, i tend to ignore or dismiss information like that...
66. What do you miss most right now? being able to walk into various peoples rooms and make them entertain me :o)
67. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back to you? i'm not sending it to anyone...
68. What colour pants are you wearing? if u mean underwear i am wearing some new black ones..
69. What are you listening to right now? the strokes- room on fire
70. Last thing you ate? strawberries
71. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? black
72. What is the weather like right now? typically english, cold, cloudy and windy.
73. Last person you talked to on the phone? chris wayper
74. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? hair and clothes
75. Most important physical feature on the opposite sex? eyes
76. How are you today? ill, bored, lonely :o(
77. Do you wear contacts? Nope, but i want some of those funky ones!
78. Siblings? two brothers, russ-24, rick-17(18 in aug)
79. Favourite month? february or august
80. Last movie you watched? edward scissorhands with Kate
81. Favourite day of the year? one of the August bank holiday weekend days when the leeds festival is one, depending on who's playing!
82. Are you too shy to ask someone out? yep and too scared to be in a relationship
83. Scary movies or happy endings? scary movies happy endings make me cynical
84. Summer or winter? winter- especially when it snows, it's prettier and i like wrapping up in layers
85. Hugs or kisses? lots of both :o)
86. What book/magazine are you reading? Rules of attraction by brett ellis
87. What's on your mouse pad? hmm the mousemat seems to have disappeared..
88. Favourite board game? cluedo and twister
89. What did you watch on tv last night? 'the man who killed Caroline Dickinson', I'm alan partridge
90. Favourite Smell? brand new plastic pencil cases
91. Favourite sound? kitty's purring
92. Whats the time now? 15:20, had to stop halfway through and get some tabs for my brother...

TA DA............

current mood: relieved

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Friday, June 4th, 2004
1:15 pm
I'm going on holiday next saturday, with some friends from uni. I can't wait, i need something to do, some excitement.

argh, i cant beleive how much time has passed, and it feels like i've done... nothing! i'm sure i've spent most of that time being stoned :o/

Being away at uni all that time meant i kinda lost touch with my local music scene. i read an article in 'SANDMAN:LEEDS'(www.sandmanmagazine.co.uk). it was on a local band called Buen Chico(www.buenchico.co.uk) which has recently formed containing and it has a guy i had rather liked from highschool in it. He is an amazing drummer and person in general, you cant help but admire him, even the guy who wrote the article sounds like he is in awe of him. i dont really know why i am mentioning this, i guess it was just inspirational...

current mood: contemplative

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Sunday, August 10th, 2003
4:35 pm - ;43p 08-*)(* "lk:"{P}~@:w

only 10 days and about 20 hours to go until we'll be pitching our tent for a weekend of music and mosh pits, accompanied by 10 thousand other mad but friendly people and a further 40 thousand day-goers, portaloos that stink to high heaven by around 9 o'clock on the first day, eating nothing but junk food, and drinking plenty of alcohol to ensure that everyone remains mad and friendly until the early hours of the morning... haha i cant wait!!!

current mood: excited

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Tuesday, August 5th, 2003
12:58 am
i do not wish to consider the future for the only things i know for certain are some of the hardest times to bear through.

jil, are we still running away together?

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Sunday, August 3rd, 2003
2:49 am - reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
i always wanted to be more spontaneous, i hate having everything planned out so that the only rush of adrenaline you get is when things dont go according to plan.
tonight,tonight was fun and rather pleasant. acting on a rather random text i grabbed my jacket and my bag and headed out where i was picked up and we then pick up another friend and we drove away. winding through the country roads, we eventually pulled into a carpark on otley chevin. we had a good chat and giggle then we got back in the car and drove off to the 'cow and calf' in ilkley where we climbed up a rock a fair bit and sat and admired the view. the sky was so clear, i have never seen so many stars. we saw a shooting star and each made a wish and we tried to point out the constilations(sp?). we drove around abit more and drove through otley town centre where, for some reason, the sight of people seemed unpleasant.
we drove some more before returning to the chevin where we wrapped ourselves up in blankets and sat on a rock with the most spectacular view of otley on one side and yeadon on the other. we talked some more before deciding to head off back home at 2am.

current mood: content

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Tuesday, July 15th, 2003
5:58 pm - resolutions
' So in the end it remains advisable to accept whatever comes, to behave like and enert mass even if one feels oneself being swept awawy, not be be lured into a single unnecessary step, to regard others with the gaze of an animal, to feel no remorse, in short to crush with one's own hand any ghost of life that subsists, that is, to intensify the final quiet grave still further and let nothing beyond that endure.
A characteristic gesture in such a condition is to run one's little finger along one's eyebrows.'

~ Franz Kafka - metamorphosis and other stories

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Thursday, June 26th, 2003
7:51 pm
i saw an old friend yesterday which was weird! it was nice to catch up with whats going on in her life and stuff though.
i've been thinking of some crazy ideas for stuff to do these hols... if only i had the money..i'd go wild! :oD

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Monday, June 9th, 2003
3:43 pm - crucify the insincere
continuing my read, there was a passage in which he goes on about how he got married and that they had a child ten months later and how people started treating them differently and how he had to get his boring job to pay the mortgage and taxes etc etc.
u know how some people go on about how they want a husband and children and that pretty little house with the white picket fence? i dont want any of that... i dont want to live like that but i dont know what i want. i have this immense feeling that no matter where i am or what i am doing or who i am with or what i have accomplished, i will never be happy and i will never be satisfied. maybe i'd be ok with being just ok but i dont think that would be the case either.

argh i hate trying to explain these philosophical thoughts, it feels so pretentious which makes me not feel like continuing... maybe another time?

current mood: dorky

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Sunday, June 8th, 2003
1:23 am - reflections in a dirty mirror
i started to hear my parents getting up and realised it was ten to 9 and that i hadn't been to sleep. i finished off the chapter i was reading, turned off the light and listened to the sound of my parents getting ready, having breakfast, feeding the cats, and leaving at around ten o'clock. then i must have fallen asleep.
i was however, woken by my brother playing his guitar at around 12.
i was gonna spend the day revising (bleh) but i got to thinking... what kind of a fucking friend was he? maybe he was doing me a favour by ridding me of all his pretentious bullshit? anyway... im going to make myself a cup of choco mocha and try do some law revision...

current mood: drained

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Saturday, June 7th, 2003
1:54 pm
ARGH! i'm pissed off!!!

remember to breathe, remember to breathe...

current mood: pissed off

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Friday, June 6th, 2003
1:53 pm - im in love with my sadness
i'm re-reading 'life after god' by douglas coupland. i like it it stimulates my philosophical side.

he asks 'what is it that makes humans human?'. we know what behavior makes dogs' dogs, its the fetching of sticks and sniffing other dogs bums and sticking their head out of the car window and we know that cats are cats because they chase mice, they rub up against your shin when they are hungry and they can never decided if they actually want to go outside or not. he said the only things he can think of that humans do that others dont is smoking, body building and writing. why do we consider ourselves so superior to other species?

current mood: indescribable

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Friday, May 16th, 2003
10:22 pm - thoughts arrive like butterflies
oooooOOOooOOoo just watched the new silverchair video, DAniel Johns is sooooo sexy :o)

current mood: horny

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Friday, May 9th, 2003
1:13 pm - that there, thats not me...
well im at home, waiting till i have to go back to school. i'm going away for the weekend, to a lodge in the dales with my maths class for a revision weekend... sounds fun eh?
and to jump feet first into the pool of gender issues its also that time of the month so im fighting the cramps, dealing with hot flushes, whilst having to try concentrate on maths argh... i think im gonna end up crying!

current mood: crappy

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Thursday, May 1st, 2003
7:31 pm - so you think you can drive me crazy?
i've just been to vote since im legally allowed to now. it was kind of an anticlimax though, i dont know what i was expecting really.

i have just been having an interesting conversation with someone about tattoos. i would really like another one. not a big one - i dont want it to look all saggy and awfull when im older. just a small simple one.

current mood: tired

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Thursday, April 24th, 2003
10:11 pm - follow the god that failed
on the drive home from my appointment we had stopped at some traffic lights. there was a man sat on a wall around the corner with a plastic carrier bag on his lap. he took out a large bottle of vodka, unscrewed the top and started drinking it. it was only 1050am.

current mood: melancholy

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Wednesday, April 23rd, 2003
5:55 pm
*cough cough*


current mood: blank

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